!?! PT 3

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Question meme because I broke or have almost broken some milestones with my characters! Crown at 9K comments (not all kyr), Yukine for 6K, and Caretaker almost 1k! Ask me anything and everything. I will answer to the best of my ability, yushuyushu.

If you're not aware, I play Yukine (Alectryon), Crown (Rats), Lion (Cats, echo-dropped), Caretaker (Tiamat Patron), and Melek. . . Who has not been introduced yet. I HAVE TOO MUCH.

Questions that are not allowed:
- YOU ALREADY KNOW, YOU DEMONS.

Comments

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Haha yeah, it's definitely the head-wound thing. I think we recently talked about that though! It's something that he remembers to this day too because he never forgot his feelings for him, he just doesn't feel the same way he used to. He still remembers everything and how he felt, but it's one of those things he's holding onto like a diamond. . . and aggressively ignoring it. LIKE IT'S THE ONLY THING HE'LL NEVER TALK ABOUT WITH ANYONE ELSE EVER.

Everrrrrrr.

EVEN THOUGH HE THINKS HE DID THE RIGHT THING AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WAS FOR THE BEST. can still do a thing for the better and hate it, basically.

BUT YEAH... WE NEED A THREAD.

RELATIONSHIP ME BACK for at current?

[withmyownfists]

Haha yes I was PRETTY SURE that was the one. Don't worry, baby, she hates herself for that too.
RELATIONSHIPS:
Hiyori -> Yukine
Also, I wrote out a relationship thing but then it became the most frightful mess. It's really hard for me to say where they are right now. Because honestly, up until last night it felt like (to me!!!) they were mostly in a very good place post Yukine's heart game, but... with the fight thread so fresh in my mind... and not knowing how the end / true heart ended up being... I feel like it's distorting a lot of things and I'm not entirely sure what to say! |D; Trying again but also for a bit more brevity instead of a fucking essay, which was literally what I wrote first time. And couldn't cover a fraction of it.

TL;DR, the romance is certainly over, but love is not dead. However it is just one hot fucking mess. She's actually much less of a loose cannon than she could be, particularly having seen his and Yato's reaction's to her death. I said it before, and will say it again, it's going to shape the way she plays for a very long time, and it's going to have an impact on how her who team plays as well. But her heart is also not in it, so likely that is going to fuck her up in other ways. Oops.

While she knows that he loves her, having been in his heart... she's also pretty afraid he doesn't like her anymore, and rejects large, crucially important parts of what make her *her*. Hiyori has never been anything *but* a loose cannon that believes in doing whatever she can for others that only reigns herself back just-so, so if that part of her makes him upset and angry and fearful... ? It's really hard on her, feeling like the first person who saw worth in and admired her doesn't accept those parts of her, and she doesn't really know how to deal other than to try to pretend these things didn't happen and just kind of power on through. More than just being afraid that he doesn't like her anymore, she's afraid she actually is a source of toxicity / pain for him. She wonders sometimes if she ought to ask him if he wants to cut ties, but she's afraid of what the answer might be, and what that might do to both of them (yeah, she'd like to be an actual saint and say that she's only thinking of him, but even if you asked her she'd own up to being selfishly invested). If he ever came out and told her she was a burden on him though she would ... have to try to figure out a way to cut ties with him, though because as much as she doesn't want him to not be a part of her life anymore, more than that she really wouldn't be able to bear the idea of forcing herself on him for her own sake, so she'd end it. :( Darkest Timeline, calling it right now.

She wants him to feel more useful and significant, both in her life and just. In general. So she's trying to make changes to the way she does things to help improve that. She's really fucking worried about all this time that he's been spending in EDEN's realm away from his team: she knows it's not right or fair to any of them, and that all of this resentment he's feeling to them for not being old!Alec is inappropriate, and she really wants to say something!!! But she's also afraid to confront him on it, or anything, after their last fight, and unfortunately, she doesn't have a lot of her memories that might help push her to do so in spite of it.

He's mad about the stuff about Miles, and meanwhile, she's mad that he told her she was crippling herself, and trying to tell her what to do with her life REPEATEDLY, AND BUSTING UP PEOPLES' PROPERTY!!!, and also that stunt he pulled on her after she came back from being dead. :/ She's still his bestie but... those were some bad moments lately.

If he had any doubt of his importance to / impact on her, he's going to see it in heart game, for better and for worse. Which... he may misunderstand or interpret negatively, but the fact of the matter is, the more important a person, the more power they have to both hurt and help a person in their daily lives, so... there's just going to be marks all over the place. Essentially.

BUT just to give this also a more positive lift because I feel like—so much of this has been focused on the negative? On both sides? When actually much of that negative was.... a while ago, in the timeline, but we're probably being more negatively impacted because of the recentness of writing?—she feels like she understands him and his values a lot better after the AU game and the shinki bonds, and the platonic cuddlings have been really helpful, and she's very grateful for his support, especially... since... again, not everything *had* felt great before that. She wants to share with him more of what's been going on back home, and about her life, and let him in more, if that's what he still wants, and she does respect and value his opinion and he has made her reconsider things in a way that have made self-preservation a higher priority for her. Miles left her a bunch of lesson plans to use, so... she's planning on trying to keep the lessons going even though he's gone. There are ~things~ that are planned (or, well, I've asked you to help me with/allow me to do) that I think will help further improve their relationship and various situations if they go through, and I'm hopeful that heartgame will not go badly and things will improve, but still, really, he could literally kill her and she'd still love him.

Cherry -> Ikki
What a cloooowwwwn going to tease him and stomp all over his face. Also, Ikki's fear of her is totally legit; she is a literal man-eater.

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I WAS GONNA YELL ABOUT THIS BUT I REFUSE.

I HAVE MORE TL;DR BUT NO. NOOO!